Saturday, July 29, 2006
reflection
after seeing wat my 2 best friends posted on the blog, i decided to reflect on wat is goin on. life is no longer like b4. in secondary school, u can dun do hw and get away wif it, bt i guess in jc, u cant do tt. once u dont do ur tutorial, it accumulates. when the nxt tutorial cums, u find tt u haf 2 tutorials to do, yet u do not haf time to do it. it snowballs until the tutorials pile up like a mountain, tts when u feel demoralised to do it, cos thr is like so many, and its impossible to finish everything. i guess tts wat is happening to me nw.
the people in jc is also very different frm those of sec sch. in sec sch, we were so innocent. thr was no bsing or wat so ever. if u felt sad, u juz show tt u r sad. happy, juz show tt u r happy. no hidin of feelings or wat so ever. no wearing of masks. i guess tts not the case nw.
in sec sch, u had a cca which calls for training 2x times a wk, and tt is counted as alot. nw, a cca which trains 4-5 days is the norm. jc life is so hectic. i think we come to jc to do ccas only. mugging is only during the exam period. the poly ppl r so blessed. they r being saved of the agony of ccas. sumtimes i wonder, did i make the wrong decision?
i really dont noe. bt i cant think of times when i was happy here. orientation was fun, and i enjoyed myself, bt i cldnt count tt as happiness. obviously i cant count on doin cca being happy. i used to enjoy playin bball wif my friends. when u go down to the anderson bball court after school, thr were always familiar faces u cld see, and u cld play a game wif them. over here, everybody's timetable is screwed. its so quite impossible 2 play bball wif ur teammates, unless of cos thr is bball trainin. not even wif classmates, not even during pe. they prefer kickin balls.
i remb playin "cs" in classroom. we bought 2 toy guns, loaded them wif bullets, and vsed each other in our classrm. the one who gets shot loses. if tis were to b done in an njc classrm, i cant imagine wat ppl wld say. not the tchers, not other ppl, bt our own classmates. none wld agree to such a "childish" game. i guess we r all grown up, and we shld not exhibit such childish behaviour.
thr was a sense of attachment to the small cardboard container room which we called our class. u cld stay in thr aft sch n blast ur mp3 thru the speakers at the same time, doin ur hw. u had a class u cld call ur own: 4-7. nw, u only haf a mosquito+snake+spider infested room for ur civics class. mind u, civics is a lesson, hence, we do not really own tc16. thr is no chairman, only ct reps. supposedly the representative of the class for civics lesson. everything is so realistic.
i really dont noe. everything has changed, and we muz learn to b more flexible. if u stay the same, u will only die out. can i change? or shld i change to fit into the crowd. morph into a typical rv guy and survive njc. sumtimes i wished tt i had chosen bcme. so tt i cld b in 06s06, a mini anderson. then, i guess i do not nidda change hw i carry out myself.
hai.
iduntellu at 10:02 PM