Sunday, January 17, 2010
ORD
After 2 years of imprisonment, i have finally regained my freedom. Though army did not lock me up physically, it still made me feel like i am bonded, that i am liable to follow its rules and regulations, and be at the becking of my superior. That they could crush me if i incur their wrath. I did not like that feeling. On my release date, i just wanted to get out of that place fast, get away from where i was not in control.
There were many ups and downs through out these 2 years, which i would not explicitly state. If i were to represent it on a chart, it would have plunged right from the start, but manage to regain the loss, and end off higher, an overall bullish chart.
Well, its time to stop procrastinating. I am in control of my life now. There would be no more excuses for not accomplishing what i want to do. I had used army as an excuse, a shelter, somewhere i could seek refuge from my inner desire to succeed. Now, there is no where else to hide. I am not going to remind myself that college can be an excuse. It will not be. I must do, not just think.
iduntellu at 10:22 PM
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Looking forward
It ended just like that. Three hundred and sixty-five days gone, just like that, yet none for the better for me. Well, how can that be? When you have been working your ass off trying to earn some future tuition fees. Reading voraciously, trying to upsize your limited knowledge. Paying more attention to people around you, listening to them, and treating them better?
Well, that was all about it.
I like to look at myself as a pessimist. A skeptist(not yet a cynic) who doubts what is infront of him. Someone who would think that a half filled glass is still half empty. But, silently hope that things would get better. I need my sunshine. Someone who will make a rainbow after a pour. A light that would illuminate the darkness and chase the gloom away. That is primo on the list.
About the have-naughts, a year of irregular diet and late dinner has made a belly out of my tummy. Well, its not just the food, cause if it was just that, i would be a fatboy way long ago. The absence of cardiovascular activities has caused all the carbo intake to pile up. No more trainings, nor casual sports activities after school. Burning of fats would have to come with the intent, and i would better have the resolve to get myself down to work.
I am not a greedy man. Three i hope, would be manageable. Por ultimo, and the most cliche of all. I guess, for the past year, i hadnt been unhappy. No more emoing, thats so school boy. The people around me, they had been a great bunch. Its much less stressful when they are not your peer, your competitors, but genuine friends. Or maybe its the perception, you rub my back, i rub yours. I see things in a different light, i hope. It wouldnt be a race to the bottom. Let me be happy(or less pessimistic).
2010 will be a better year.
iduntellu at 10:30 PM