Sunday, April 29, 2007
argh
hm. i guess i have decided. studies is still more impt. guess i wont b wasting time going for bball trng le. its really very scary to read quantum phy again n still not understand wat does it means. i guess i nidda do something about it. i dont noe. i m in quite a mess rite now. everything is like going downhill.
iduntellu at 7:16 PM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
loser+lagger
sian. i only juz realise i m having some trouble copin with my studies. 1stly, for phy, i dont have a clue on quantum 1, and i haven touched thermal physics. nxt, for chem, i dont noe hw to do equilibrium qns. last bt nt least, i suck at vectors n complex numbers for maths. guess sacrificing studies for bball wasnt so worth it after all. i have to play catch up now.. hm. i m still in a dilema as to whether or nt to go bball trng after i recover. being a rational economics student, i m sure the opportunity cost wld tell me that goin home to mug is better. furthermore wat trng does a cheerleader needs? i only go down to matches to cheer them on. so can be counted as a cheerleader. mayb i should flip a coin to decide.
iduntellu at 9:56 PM
Monday, April 23, 2007
real life
i have juz read the newpaper today. thr was a column by some reporter about her experiences in Austria. ya. hm. to noe more about it mayb u can go read it. i tink its quite insightful.
anyway, clarissa sent me an email. she always does tt cos she doesnt really like to tag. anyway, i believe that wat she say about real life is true. guess i was protected too much. i shall juz copy n paste the example she wrote "it's juz like if u born smart, u will still likely to win one who is born not so smart but puts in alot of effort to improve himself. the former is still one cut above." tis is quite true imo, bt its juz tt many ppl, including me, to comfort ourself, still puts in effort, tinkin that he will be onpar, or even surpass the better person. i really like wat she says later "Slowly, as u face more difficulties in life, u'll get to see more, ie the inner traits of mankind, how they work under situations thet pose harm to them, etc. Still the same note of caution: have u thought thru wad the moral principles u will abide by in times of difficulies, etc? Is success more impt than these principles? Will u forsake them to achieve ur goal? As u proceed further in life, u'll see pple throwing away values like integrity..." i dont noe. i m still nt able to say whether i will be like tt in the future. i muz keep my head if i do face such a situation. i dont really like ppl who forgo their values. i dont wanna dislike myself too. so ppl, if nxt time if i happen to veer the wrong way, pls steer me the right way! already i have seen instances of ppl going the wrong way. its a moral dilema as to whether or nt to correct them. i m sure u noe wat i mean. clar, if u do see tis, pls enlighten me!
haha, nw for some mundane stuff. i m sick sia, n i still ate kfc yesterday. gg. i have so much phelgm and it is sooo damn yellow nw, n i m coughing like nobody's business. i dont feel like goin to a doctor. actually, i prefer being sick. so i have an excuse nt to go trng. i feel very aimless during trng. i dont noe wat i m doin thr. its like somebody without a direction. i dont wanna gt well, so dont wish me gt well soon, haha.
iduntellu at 5:56 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
want you to know
Want you to know-Freelance Hellraiser
Want you to know you made me happy,
Want you to know you made me sad.
Want you to know you made me happy,
You are the best thing that I ever had.
this is a very nice and simple song. i saw it on the sony ericsson tv advertisement a few mths ago. nt sure whether does the song work, cos i changed the template, bt i cant really hear it on my com.
anyway, i m sick again. wat a loser i m. i tink its less than a mth since i was last sick. i dont noe, mayb i kana another strain of virus. bt shld b ok, after i took paracetamol and slept frm 630 yest to 3 tis morning. sian. cant run with the class guys 2.4. wanted to run wif yh to push him. i dont noe sia. i see hw later lor.
anyway, nj won mi 45-40. it was an exciting match, becos nj was down by as many as 10 pts, before making a remarkable comeback. imo, i tink lijun played the best, because he sorta pulled nj thru by making some crucial early basket. if he didnt make those, i tink mi wld gain more confidence enroute to a thrashin. bt tt didnt happen.
nwadays i will feel very sad everytime when i m alone n not doing anything. i haven gotten over it, very sorry to the ppl who tag, bt i m still nt able to pull myself up. nw i understand y sometimes ppl wld do crazy stuff. probably they r really upset. to lose something that u really love is a very shitty feeling. bt of cos i wont b like tt korean guy who goes ard killing ppl in vtech. he feels anger, while i feel sorrow.
iduntellu at 4:35 AM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
always a loser
i m not chosen into the bball team. i expected it quite a long time ago, when many of the rv j1s came in. i thought i made enough mental preparation, bt i guessed i did not. i tried to tell myself that it was alright, since i tried my best. bt the thing is that i tried my best and still did not make it. that makes me a big loser. ppl wld say that its alright if u tried your best, bt i tink thats wat ppl say to console losers. no matter hw much effort i put in, it all comes to a naught. i suffered a hell lot, pushing myself to the limits, many a times vomitted and cramps, bt all my effort and time spent doesnt count. tis really sucks, bt it is a very real and important lesson that i have learnt. results still overweighs effort, even though the politically correct answer that many people would say is the reverse.
i felt very sad that day. so much that i didnt have mood for anything. i was left alone to let my thoughts wander. i hoped someone cld talk to me, bt it didnt happen. the more i think, the worse i would get. i felt so sad because i really liked the team, and wanted to be part of it. initially when i started last year, i didnt feel anything for njbball. bt as time goes by, the feelings sort of grown. bt there is nothin i can do nw, except cheer and support them.
i guess i sort of stick more wif guanhoe nw during bball, cos he is in the same situation as me, and he wld understand hw i feel. sham still wants me to go for trng. i dont noe if that is wise or nt. guanhoe asked me a question that day. y do i still go for trngs? i told him that day tt probably its for the testimonials, cos sham said tt he wld help us write in our testimonial that we played for njbball. bt nw, i feel differently. y do i want something that i didnt work for n dont deserve? so nw, i really dont noe y do i go trngs for alrdy. i was racking my brains really hard today during trng, bt still canot think of an answer. i asked gh y does he still come for trng. he told me we still have to play for the sunday league. bt i dont really agree wif that. shams wants those who did nt make the team to play for the sunday league, which is only 7 people. bt i really dont think that is a wise choice. he doesnt really think that the sunday league is important, since he forfeited a few games b4. i guess we r nt tt important, thats y we play the sunday league. anyway, goin for trng is quite stupid too. during trng, mostly wld b those who made the team who plays. i also dont really wanna play during trng, cos i tink the j1s shld play more to gain more experience. so i guess i go to trng juz to satisfy sham ba.
anyway, nj wld b playin their 1st game tml against mi. hope they win. even though i didnt make the team, i still hope for the best for them. shams says he wants every1 to go n receive prize if we do win anything. bt i really dont wanna take credit for something that i did not do. ya. go njbball!! thrash mi tml!!
iduntellu at 8:58 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
loser
i m a loser.
iduntellu at 4:58 PM
Monday, April 09, 2007
blah blah blah
ai. played too much com during the holiday tt my mum kept the modem during the wkend: hm. bt due to tt, i learnt hw to play standard frozen throne game. haha. its not bad. i m juz starting out. nt sure about hw to use all the races, bt i m still learning. for now i only noe hw to use orcs.
anyway, we had 4-7 day on sat. went to novena to eat. sian sia, i woke up at 620 when we were supposed to meet at 6. so i had to rush down thr lor. quite paiseh, 1st time i late for 1h+. the food at ajitsan ramen was not bad. haha. after tt didnt really had anything to do cos no 1 planned anything.. thr was no special events like fireworks. haha. so some of the guys went to play lan. haven really played wif 4-7 guys in a long time. most of the time we r bz wif our stuff to come out. then some of them haf even stopped dota le.
ran 2.4 during training today. its quite sucky. cos i ran a personal best of 10.04, bt i missed sham's timing by 4 secs. so i have to come early tml morning to run again.
i really dont noe. these 2 weeks wld most probably the last time i have basketball training. so i m really going to treasure these 2 weeks. after that i would probably be a full-time mugger le. even though i might not be able to get into the team, i trained like shit wif the rest of them these past few months. of cos i feel a sense of attachment. i have thought over it already. if i dont gt it, i can juz be a sour grape, n totally heck care abt the basketball team, or be their teammate and cheer them on. i guess i wld probably b the latter. i really hope for the best for the team.
iduntellu at 9:35 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
tired
i m feeling damn tired frm bball trng. crap. my 2.4 timing is gettin worser n worser. i ran a 10.28 today. sucks la. i seriously nidda gt well soon. the stupid yellow phelgm n coughing is hindering me.
i haf a very very serious shortcoming, which is being late. hai. tml will b the 2nd time i do cwo tis yr le. n also haf to help the teacher every morning with the latecomers for 2 weeks. i m nt sure i can gurantee i will nt b late again when asked by my teacher cos i dont believe in making empty promises. bt i really hope i wont b late for sch again.
hm. i will relink claudia n sk soon. haha. when i haf time n feel like clicking on the template. actually i dont really gt bored wif my current skin. its white n its nice, imo. so i dont tink i will change it anytime soon.
iduntellu at 10:10 PM